this song was originally properly recorded in a very different style for my “karma repair::sweetness machines” album from 2000. i really like singing this song and these days instead of singing about the infamous "margaret trudeau", i sometimes use "justin trudeau" because he's such an actress! lol. i've actually written quite a number of songs from a female point of view. i always felt that it shouldn't matter the gender or cultural identity of the character i'm singing about. pj harvey has songs she sings from a male perspective so i thought it was all right for me to have songs like this or "queen of your dreams" on my celebration album (which i still think could be taken up by the pride movement), i think we used to hand out popcorn when we performed this song back in the day. maybe i'm just making that up!


popcorn nostalgia, celebrate the actors.
i used to be one in my thinner days.
celluloid perfection, freeze-frame the cellulite.
my legs used to turn men on…
Turn off the Movie! Turn on the Lights!
Remember Me if only for To-night!

i spoke all the lines, made love to the camera.
you’d close your eyes and make believe to me..
it’s not real but it’s still true.
the Monster always gets to you.

(if you see me, don’t be disappointed
by what time has done to me..
i’m not my movies. i don’t have perfect teeth.
in life, i could not suspend your disbelief..)

sandpaper critics say, “beauty is a rose
with immortality on the vine…”
if that’s true, then i should tell you:
I want back my glamour! I want back my pride!
Beauty is on the outside!
I want back my cuteness, my innocent me...
I don’t want to be this thing you see.


from RADIO FRIENDLY FIRE: Demos 2013​-​14, released December 20, 2014
Written, recorded, and not very produced by Mackenzie Kristjon.



all rights reserved


This Mad Desire Hamilton, Ontario

The music of Hamilton, Ontario-based Mackenzie Kristjon. Like "Neil Young on David Bowie drugs". For more info, please contact mackenzie.kristjon at mac.com

contact / help

Contact This Mad Desire

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code